This is a very distressing matter and one that perhaps many on this site have little or no experience of, but it may well be that there are those who have escaped abusive relationships or who have children or grandchildren who are involved in an abusive relationship and can see no way of helping.
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When discussing domestic violence, it is important to define what is meant by the term. There is no statutory offence of domestic violence. ?Domestic violence? is a general term that describes a range of controlling and coercive behaviours, within which some are criminal and some are not, used by one person to maintain control over another with whom they have, or have had, an intimate or family relationship. It is the cumulative effect of abuse, whether physical, psychological, sexual, emotional or financial, that has a particularly damaging effect on the victim. Domestic violence occurs throughout society, amongst people of all ethnicities, sexualities, ages, disabilities, immigration status, religions or beliefs, and socio-economic backgrounds.
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A single Government definition of domestic violence (agreed in 2004) has replaced the various definitions used by individual Government departments and agencies and has helped to improve joint working practices and monitoring. The agreed national (England and Wales) definition of domestic violence is:
?any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.?
An adult is any person aged 18 years and over and family members are defined as mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister and grandparents, whether directly related, in-laws or step-family. The definition is supported by an explanatory text that makes it clear that domestic violence includes female genital mutilation, forced marriage and so-called ?honour crimes? (more commonly referred to now as ?honour based violence?.
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It is true that there are a number of behaviours which, while not contravening the criminal law, are abusive, coercive or controlling. If you have a family member whom you suspect is in a relationship of this type it is very difficult to know how to help. You cannot interfere unless you suspect that a criminal act has been committed and you have evidence, for example having witnessed violence or seen the injuries that resulted. You can refer this to the Police who will investigate, but the reality is that many victims do not pursue the allegation and refuse to give evidence against the abuser. Sometimes the police will refer a case to the CPS and if there is sufficient weight of evidence to prove the case without the evidence of the victim they will go ahead. The courts will also apply ?special measures? and the victim can give evidence from behind a screen to avoid distress and intimidation.
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As a concerned family member it?s important to let the victim know that you are available for them, and ready and able to provide support and practical help such as a place to stay which will be safe. It is a sad fact that statistics show that victims make seventeen attempts to leave an abusive relationship before finally succeeding.? It?s also important to be aware of where the local women?s aid can be contacted. They have an excellent website which provides lots of information.
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One very distressing matter which is not much publicised is Elderly Abuse. This has been largely hidden, but can happen sometimes as an escalation of very controlling behaviour and sometimes when the strain of caring for a relative with Dementia or a long term illness becomes too much. Help is needed here and Citizens Advice or the GP or Social Services should be contacted.
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This short article has only scratched the surface of this dreadful pattern of behaviour, but there is help available out there.
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Source: http://www.grannynet.co.uk/domestic-violence/
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