tunde.me ? I Remain Loyal! (on loyalty)

While the initial attraction to all kinds of relationships we enter or find ourselves in may be something ?interesting? like intelligence, humour, advantage, coincidence, personality (whether it be a business relationship, friendship, employer-employee, marital, family-related, etc.), when water finds its level, higher requirements or qualities will determine how far and/or deep such relationships will go.

In the final analysis, internal things will far outweigh external trappings, character assets will make personality skills look silly. When push comes to shove, it will be crystal clear that the deep and true longing of every soul can only be met by unseen elements ? especially because of the human nature: a spirit that has a soul and lives in a body. The body is essentially like the suit, the spirit like the person and the soul like the connector or relational device. So, the real longings of man can only be truly satisfied at the level of the spirit ? the place of true meaning. There?s obviously a place for the soul and the body, but they?re only secondary and tertiary in priority.

Loyalty is one of the crucial values upon which long-term (built-to-last) relationships are based. Loyalty is Steadfastness in allegiance to a person, course or organisation. Loyalty breeds high-trust; high-trust makes allowances for mistakes as we are really not perfect. High-trust is non-negotiable in our most vital relationships, else they?ll not be worth it. Loyalty like certain shared core values can compensate for a million social and material shortcomings, all these assuming the core values of the people involved are based on correct principles.

A classic example of loyalty is that of Biblical David and Jonathan. I don?t know how exactly they became good friends, but Jonathan was loyal to David even though he knew he (David) was about to ?take his (Jonathan?s) place? since Saul ? Jo?s father ? had messed up; he did not envy but stood by and protected David. In the long run, Jonathan lost his life. David reciprocated loyalty to Jonathan even in death (through Mephibosheth). Jonathan was more ?influencial? ? as a prince. As far as social value was concerned, David didn?t measure up. But Jonathan reached within for something so rare on the inside ? this was loyalty exemplified. And true loyalty is love-based.

?Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. ? 3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.?

1 Samuel 18: 1,3-4

Naomi and Ruth also come to mind. Ruth had every reason to depart and seek greener pasture. The tragedy of her loss was enough. She could just have gone the ?normal? way (like her sister-in-law), but she decided to be steadfast in allegiance to Naomi. She reached down for higher meaning from within and played the fool. Now she?ll have to put up with her fmr Mother-in-law?s rules and recommendations, even those old-school, non compliant ideas. But she probably saw something deep, something that she must have experienced while her husband was alive, and those things (obviously not external) were sufficient to keep her loyalty intact even when everything on the outside seemed to have fallen apart.

Question? How would you grade your loyalty level in the relationships that truly matter to you (btw, I feel the ones that truly matter the most are the ones where there has been demonstrated loyalty over time especially when things were not so rosy).

I like to grade my friendships and relationships into levels, and I don?t expect to be in everyone?s (or several people?s ) top list. There?s a scripture (often misinterpreted) that says a man that will have many friends must show himself friendly. Contrary to the first thoughts that we may have about that statement, the scripture tries to emphasize quality above quantity ? that in a bid to have many friends, a man would have to put up a show. So, I like to grade or classify my friendships and relationships based on quality (willingness to sacrifice from both parties) and quantity (time-tested consistency on essential things). Truth be told, I?m not willing to sacrifice for everybody (obviously) ? of course there are exceptions of sacrifice to strangers at times.

The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.
- MARIO PUZO, The Family

1. Loyalty (steadfastness of allegiance) is a non-negotiable (?spiritual?) quality or value upon which vital relationships must be built; Loyalty breeds high-trust. Trust is the ?engine-oil? of good relationships

2. Loyalty (in it?s pure form) is love-motivated, seeking the betterment of the other, sacrificial not self-centredness

3. True loyalty (that will endure) is based on Integrity

4. A speck of loyalty is worth a million fields of social or material value without it

5. Your loyalty cannot be to everyone ? you have to give it according to the priority of that realtionship ? else you?ll deplete yourself of energy for several other things. Your true friend is your loyal friend.

6. For loyalty to thrive, it must be reciprocated.

7. We must actively identify our most treasured relationships and begin to pump some loyalty into them (read demonstrated sacrifice for the other?s betterment at every opportunity).

So, after reading this, which of your relationships are you gonna quickly demonstrate some loyalty to?

I remain loyal!

Source: http://tunde.me/2012/08/i-remain-loyal-on-loyalty/

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